I feel the seasons changing, figuratively and metaphorically. This blog will be taking a new road to follow where my life leads. I’ve deleted the majority of the posts except the recipes, I’ve erased some content and stories from the remaining posts, I’ve changed the name also. But I’m still the same, but maybe I’m not the same at all. I can’t call it a quarter life crisis as I think that happened years ago, and I think its far too early for a mid life crisis. Maybe an awakening is a good term. I’ve always been insightful? I think that’s a profound word for a thinker. Call it over thinking if you may, heck sometimes during this life I’ve proven to not think at all, but generally I’ve over thought everything. But far too often, I’ve spent so much time thinking of ideas and ideals, and then washed them away. For I’d say the past year, I can see where I was grasping at things, at ideas, at goals, at who I am, who I want to be, at who I’ve been. And it hasn’t been easy.
Realizing that you’re someone you never thought you’d be, is a good thing, but it also allows you to see that you can be more. If I can be me, who frankly I’m pretty proud of, than why can’t I be even better? I can, but it was going to require some work. I think we all grow up, at least I hope we all do at some point and time. Growing up sometimes entails wrong decisions, time spent going down the wrong path, mistakes, but at some point and time in life, a switch flips, a road veers, we become who we’re supposed to be. My change happened years ago and looking back now, I still am left in wonder. I didn’t know it was happening, but I know without a shadow of doubt that I’m who I’m supposed to be, I am not the same person I was years ago. But to think that we quit changing, quit growing, quit learning, is naive. I think that’s why I was grasping so much in the last year, I was questioning within myself who I am now. What kind of woman am I? What kind of wife and mother am I? What kind of friend am I? When I sat back and thought, really examined, those questions, I saw that although I like me, I could do more and give myself more.
I’ve decided that this outlet, this blog may very well be the place I truly need. For a while I used it to post recipes and some thoughts and things I was proud of, but it was so shiny, so glossy, so…superficial? Sure all those thoughts were real, yes I truly do love my husband, yes I really do cook dinner most nights, but where was the nitty gritty? Not here that’s for sure. Blogging, writing my thoughts and prayers and goals, is not easy, but it’s healthy, it’s healing. To motivate myself, I’ve decided to join thousands of other bloggers on the 31 Day Challenge. I’ll be speaking about this more later, but just briefly a few weeks ago, my eyes were opened because of a medical issue that although I am fine right now, my life could of ended numerous times over the last year, that thought changed something in me and starting October 1st, I’ll be writing for 31 days about becoming a better me. Please join me, re-examine yourself if needed, help me grow, it will be fun, and hard, but we’ll all be better because of it.
I’ve also decided that instead of a food blog, I’m going to focus more on the “lifestyle” spectrum. There is more to my life than my cooking, I would like to share those parts too.
Thank you for those that will be sticking around and welcome to all you just now finding me.