A Better Mother: Let them be little

I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand
Felt so good in it, no bigger than a minute
How it amazes me, you’re changing with every blink
Faster than a flower blooms they grow up all too soon
So let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little

I’ve never felt so much in one little tender touch
I live for those kisses, prayers and your wishes
Now that you’re teaching me things only a child can see
Every night while we’re on our knees all I ask is please
Let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be littleSo innocent, a precious soul, you turn around
It’s time to let them go

So let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little

Let them be little

I think this song, the saying, they say it all. So why it is so hard for us as parents to allow this to happen. I know my reasons. I’m scared for them not to have rules, to not hear “no,” to be those kids. But I also know that a “yes” can light up a little face. I know that a mess can make memories. I know that it won’t kill me to let them be little. I’m working on this. I’m working on thinking before I say no. I’m working on letting them be little.

 

IMG_0099.JPG

IMG_1130.JPG

IMG_1128.JPG

 

Would you like to keep up with the rest of the 31 posts, every post will be linked here for your convenience.

Advertisements

A Better Mother: Quit being so hard

This is REALLY hard for me to confess.

I am not the mother I want to be. I love my child and my step child, more than anything. I would lay down my life for them today. But I know that there are times I don’t show them the love I have for them.

Children are going to be children, they are not going to mind, they are going to talk back, they are going to misbehave, but I do not have to lose my cool the way I do. I spank, and scream, and cuss, and pop them, and sometimes, I forget to love. I’m not saying all these punishments are wrong, what I am saying is wrong is my quickness to resort to these. Why does my child have to be punished for my lack of patience.

When I see my child flinch, that breaks a part of me so deep inside, my child, my babygirl, should not be afraid of me.

I expect perfection and yet I know there is no perfect, why would a 4 year old be so robotic in her thoughts and words and actions as to not upset her mom. She shouldn’t be, she’s a child. I was a child too once.

I remember a few years ago, my own mother called me a nazi. I of course argued that I wasn’t that bad. But deep down, I knew there was some truth to it. I was hard on the kids, I do expect too much, I do scream when I could instead talk, I do react without thinking and regret it later.

Years ago,  I’d picked up my daughter from daycare, got in the car and she immediately started whining and crying, I can’t even remember why now. I called my own my mom crying, why were the drives home like this every night. And she said something I have never forgot, “she’s been at school for almost 9 hours, she’s tired, she’s hungry, things haven’t gone the way she wanted, in her own little mind, she’s stressed out too.” A light bulb went off, we were both tired, we were both hungry, we were both ready to be home, but at her age, limited vocabulary, and mind of a toddler, she didn’t know how to express this. Heck it’s taken me almost 30 years to learn to express myself to this extent. So I dried my eyes and talked to her.

I’ve failed at this so many times since this conversation years ago, but those words have stayed with me. I often question myself why I expect so much from them. Why do I lose it so easily? And sadly, the majority of the time it’s because they’re inconveniencing me. Talking when I want silence. Not hurrying when I’m in a hurry. Not minding. Isn’t part of my role as a parent to put my own needs and wants and life aside for my child. And I have and I do. But I can do better.

hands

 

 

Would you like to keep up with the rest of the 31 posts, every post will be linked here for your convenience.