I’m not a good friend. I’m just not good at it. I don’t check in with my friends like I should. I don’t go to all the events I’m invited to. Heck, sometimes I even forget birthdays.
I remember years and years ago, I think I was in middle school, I convinced my parents to buy several of those little boxes of chocolates at Valentine’s Day. I made them believe that I had all these friends that would be buying me valentines also. It was a lie. I took those candies and passed them out to people who didn’t even know I existed. Sure they probably knew my name, heck I’d probably let them cheat off me several times. But they weren’t my friends, I just wanted them to be.
Years later, I have true friends, friends that love me for who I am, friends that show up when I need them, and I don’t have to bribe them. But I’m ashamed to admit I’m not always great at returning their friendship. I think it’s a pretty common problem as we get older. We settle into our lives and our daily routines. Days are busy between work, school, practices and games, dinner, dishes, laundry, and homework and next thing we know we haven’t spoke with our friends in days and then weeks.
So many times, I depend on social media to catch me up with my friends. Sure I think about them, I see photos, I see updates, but I don’t always take the time to stop what I’m doing and send a text or call real quick. And that makes me sad because I risk losing these people who mean so much to me.
Maybe I’m entirely way too soft and emotional, but to me, if someone has been in my life, whether we dated or were friends, no matter the status of that relationship now, severed, estranged, or still friends, I still care about that person. Once someone touches my heart, my memory of them doesn’t just disappear. I still care, I still think about these people, I still want good for them.
I’m making a vow, to myself, to be a better friend. To attend functions. To make time to catch up with my friends. To be the friend I should be.
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